Friday, June 10, 2016

Book Review: Five Love Languages of Children

The Five Love Languages of Children. Gary Chapman, D. Ross Campbell. 1995/2016. Moody Publishers. 224 pages. [Source: Review copy]

Completely unrelated to the book itself, but (practically) guaranteed to bring a smile to your face, I share with you There Are Many Ways to Say I Love YOU.

The Five Love Languages of Children is a parenting book that seeks to teach parents how to speak all five love languages to their children and also how to recognize which of the five love languages is the primary love language of their children. Each person--no matter their age--has one primary way of giving and receiving love.

The book definitely makes a distinction between being loved and feeling loved. A child can be loved--very loved by both parents--but have an empty love tank and feel unloved. Feeling unloved impacts children deeply, strongly. It may show up as misbehavior, emotional immaturity, social immaturity, poor grades, etc.

The book suggests that discipline is ineffective if a child doesn't feel loved. Discipline only works if the child is secure in your love, if your love is unconditional.

The five love languages are 1) physical touch 2) words of affirmation 3) quality time 4) gifts and 5) acts of service.

The first chapter serves as an introduction to the love-language concept. Readers also get a taste of the writing style. The book is packed with stories. Essentially in each and every chapter the following happens: at least one parent goes to a conference or emails the author, the parent learns about the five love languages, the parent implements the love languages, the parent gets back in touch with the author and sings the praises of the love language system. There are probably hundreds of success stories related throughout the book.

Chapters two through six focus on the five love languages. One by one the love languages are explained and illustrated. Each of these chapters ends with a long bullet list of suggestions for parents. IF your child's primary love language is…then these are ways you might speak their language.

Chapter seven talks about how to discover what your child's primary love language is. It's a very practical chapter.

Chapter eight talks about disciplining your children.

Chapter nine talks about your child's learning ability and how important it is for your child to feel loved.

Chapter ten talks about single-parent families.

For those looking for parenting books saturated in Scripture--in the Word of God--this one isn't it. That
doesn't mean the book lacks spiritual value or spiritual principles. It just means the focus is not on God or the Word of God but on the Love Language System developed by Gary Chapman and D. Ross Campbell.

The book definitely is thought-provoking. It makes you really think about a lot of things. For example, what your own primary love language is and which love languages you most naturally like to speak. (Some people like to receive in one language, and give in another). The book stresses that all five love languages are important. You need to be aware of the people in your life, and really make an effort to speak love in a way they can appreciate.

© Becky Laney of Operation Actually Read Bible

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